If your spouse/partner has been unfaithful, you are probably feeling:
- Outraged
- Deeply wounded
- In pain—mental, physical or both
- Insulted
- Stupid for not knowing before
- Suspicious of everything your partner does or says
- Hatred of your partner and possibly yourself
- Total lack of trust
You may be unable to stop thinking about how you have been used and abused. You may be going back over everything you and your spouse have done together and examining it for signs of infidelity. You may believe that your relationship is completely broken and you have no choice but to end it now.
If you have been unfaithful to your spouse/partner, you are probably feeling:
- That you’ve found the “love of your life”
- Justified in straying because of something your spouse has done
- Happy to be with someone who doesn’t know all your shortcomings
- Relieved to find an “easy out” of a bad relationship
- Glad to have found a way to force problems to the surface
- Guilt
- Remorse
- That you’d like to be able to undo your infidelity
Infidelity is an urgent “cry for help” in a relationship. It is a painful sign that something, or many things, are wrong.
No matter what the two partners are feeling, no matter how impossible the situation seems today, relationship counseling following infidelity offers both partners an opportunity to learn, to salvage their dignity, to develop communication that protects their family from harm, and to address the issues that led to the infidelity, however complex. Even after the deep insult of infidelity, relationship counseling is empowering—for the individuals, for the couple and for the family. It provides a safe context for healing wounds, for meeting challenges and for making difficult decisions about the future.
For a free phone consult, call Dr. Fibus at 818.395.2832.